The Age-Gap

When I decided to have kids having a large age-gap was never on my mind. I had always wanted three kids semi-close in age. I wanted them to have a friend to play with, argue with and someone to grow up with. Funny how life actually works.

                My first son was born over eleven years ago. His father and I didn’t work out and for many years it was just me and him. Luckily, he has several cousins who were always willing to join on the trips and activities so that he was not always the only child around. However, he wanted a sibling and I on the other hand had become completely complacent with one child. I mean the thought about traveling and retiring in my 40s had become an idea I could live with!

                Flash forward several years, my son was seven. I met my amazing husband and he immediately became an incredible father. So incredible that after a few years we decided to have another child. It was all excitement, initially. It became abundantly clear within the first few weeks of pregnancy that things were not the same this time. Not only was the pregnancy so much harder the second time around but SO many things had changed!

                I started to watch videos on pregnancy and search baby videos on Facebook. My social media FBI agent did his job perfectly and every video, advertisement, and post was all about parenthood and babies. I learned that moms were now labeled. Crunchy mom? Helicopter mom? Scrunchy mom? (I’m not going to lie, I still have absolutely no clue what all those titles mean.)But I digress. Moral of the story was I realized I was completely lost in the new parenting generation and I was terrified!

                Nothing emphasized the age-gap we were about to have like the night I was making a baby registry. I was sitting at the kitchen table pondering over the hundreds of items I did not know even existed and attempting to figure out what was needed and/or actually useful. My eleven year old son walks in and hands me some papers from school. They were forms. Sexual education consent forms to be exact. I looked at my husband and simultaneously we both realized the age-gap was significant. We were signing sexual education paperwork while deciding which swaddle would be best for our soon to arrive infant. The realization had fully hit. What wasn’t a thought that night was that my son would be learning about how babies were made while his mom was in fact, carrying a baby.

                All the fears of “starting over” with an infant were laid to rest the day we brought our baby home. My oldest fell in love immediately. He loves to help and is constantly watching over and protecting his brother. He even makes sure the grandparents and babysitters take care of the baby to his standards. The bond I was worried they would never have is stronger than I could have ever imagined. I had no clue that a baby could look up to someone so much at such a young age.

                While the gap was never in my plans I would not change it for the world. I love every minute of watching my oldest guard, protect and care for his brother. I love every time my youngest searches the house for his brother and the fact his second word just after “dada” was “bubba” even though I may be a little salty.